I scream. I travel. I couldn\u2019t do anything else. I don\u2019t know any other way. I hate this way of doing things, of travelling, to get rid of an unbearable weight. A journey doesn\u2019t solve anything. All it does is move empty boxes. So incredibly unique to fill and discover, but absurd when you seal them with thousands of rounds of twine, which make everything appear as an endless cobweb.<\/p>\n
You made me get used to this state, to this damned feeling of always being somewhere else. I don\u2019t want to be somewhere else. I don\u2019t care.
\nAny journey can be the right one, none the perfect one. Somehow, I\u2019m with you. Sometimes, I accompany you. I don\u2019t participate. I can\u2019t. Perhaps I don\u2019t even want to. I should stop, but I can\u2019t find the courage. I don\u2019t have enough breath. It takes a lot of breath, even to stop. It takes courage to hit the brakes. Many times, hitting the brakes means changing gears. Most of the time, when we drive in high gears, the ones that somehow have quickly displaced thoughts and actions, we aren\u2019t able to do so. Gears can increase speed, but they need to be understood… felt… otherwise what the heck are they for?<\/p>\n
So, as I was saying, when you hit the brakes, your stomach gets catapulted into your throat, and you choke. Perhaps I can\u2019t find the time to do it. I do realise that this could be a limit of yours. Yes, exactly. Because you don\u2019t want to stop either. We don\u2019t want to. We wouldn\u2019t have any excuses, anyway. It\u2019s been a lifetime since you\u2019ve been travelling, and you still don\u2019t know any other ways to live. You\u2019re just so eager to travel. Sometimes, you are in abstinence. That\u2019s the feeling you give me. Never, ever stop. Sometimes, journeys can bore you to death, but it\u2019s always better than nothing at all.
\nLooking at oneself can be scary; however, somewhere inside of us, I feel… I feel that it helps. It could help. It could actually help. That would be wonderful. I can picture the moment when sweaty, tired, and loaded with useless weight, we stop, breathe, and take a break. Breathe… take a break. In that very moment, everything moves, everything is in motion… everything.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s no longer the same, and we can feel it, understand it. We were expecting it. Then you turn around and exclaim: enough! That\u2019s it. Enough. Tell me more. Let\u2019s tell each other everything, absolutely everything, what we are… and nothing else.<\/p>\n
As if it were the first day of primary school when all you have to do is answer the roll call. To that lady, who is not your mother, and will repeat your name many other times.
\nYou take me away. You take me away with you. I would like to come as I am, with that lightness that, most of the times, doesn\u2019t want me and doesn\u2019t recognise me. Come on, let\u2019s do it. For us. Let\u2019s stop. We will have our dues to pay, but we\u2019ll think about it later.<\/p>\n
In any case, we have learned that there is always a price to pay, which, at the very least, will be quite high.
\nWithout claiming to have understood everything, just with the awe for finally catching a glimpse of something distant. Something that is just ours. Beautiful. Silent.
\nSomething that tastes of us and smells of our fears. Something that tastes of desire. Again, no, better still, that tastes of a surprising discovery.
\nLet\u2019s let loose of our fears. Let\u2019s throw everything away.<\/p>\n
I would do that for you. I would do that for me. I would do that.
\nAnd one day we will, you know?
\nI try to love you in the silence of my thoughts. Sometimes, I even believe I can make it. Yes, I feel you are even closer than that solitary shadow, which, right now, accompanies my thoughts.
\nI like this feeling. It\u2019s very reassuring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I scream. I travel. I couldn\u2019t do anything else. I don\u2019t know any other way. I hate this way of doing things, of travelling, to get rid of an unbearable weight. A journey doesn\u2019t solve anything. All it does is move empty boxes. So incredibly unique to fill and discover, but absurd when you seal […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":163,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n